Men
While travelling to work this morning, I was thinking of the past boyfriends I had in my life. Not many though.. I mean those really serious ones that I've showed my Dad. Age 17, the guy was named Edward Tan Hee Soon. Met him while I was working at a bowling centre. Actually I liked his friend first. So had to asked ET about his friend. Coz of this, I got to know ET more instead. Kind of weird, ppl you wouldn't like but end up liking them. It was my first love. Everything was sweet and in honeymoon period. Also being a first-timer, everything like a green horn. Not sure how to dealt with situations, how to accommodate each other, how to talk even.... etc.... All was an ART! We had our usual arguements (which couple don't!) but overall we got along fine and always had loads of fun. The only problem was his mum. His mum being the old fashioned kind. Saying her son spending too much time with me... She didn't like me from the start. Saying that I never take care of her son. Hello! I'm his girlfriend, not his mother! After 1 year 3 months, the conclusion came... Coz of his mum, we had to break up. It was sad... devastating! First love gone!
Since then, over the years I still had boyfriends, just that they weren't the serious kind. Definitely not those that my dad wants to know of.. hehe...
2nd boyfriend that came along.. Also met him at a bowling centre as I was working overtime. Pleasant looking. Nice to talk to. He works there as arcade attendant. Meaning taking care of those arcade machines, changing money for ppl. So I would go there to play games whenever I'm free or frustrated with work. When the tournament was going to be over, I knew I wouldn't be able to see him again so decided to exchange phone numbers. We kept in contact. I think 6 months later, we are a couple... Everything was sweet as usual. But only last 2 months. Coz that's when HELL broke loose! It's like a decent man became a wolf. He showed his true colours after 2 months. He was bad tempered, rude, possessive, controlling, demanding, unreasonable.... What ppl would called a BEAST! Or an ASSHOLE! Somehow my tolerance level was OVER THE LIMIT.... As in it was so good that I could tolerate for 2 years!... So good that I've became another person that I couldn't recognise even. Lost my friends, almost lost my family. Think my dad kinda gave up on me... He was like do whatever you want... It was HELL! The mental stress, physical stress, was describable. Also he had a "Bian Tai" mother who was against us right from the start as I was born in the year of a Tiger while he was a Snake. And she believed that we would clash. As her husband and herself are the same animal signs.... and they are separated. So during the time we were together, she said lots of things to make us break up. But he stand firm. As the time goes by, he starts to think that maybe his mum is right... and soon believed that we weren't meant for each other. Already enough problems with his mum, his family and now him.... Very unbearable! I look back now and heaved a sigh of relief that I finally gotten over the nightmare and terror. And glad that it's all over.
The 2nd heart break.... was a huge scar for me. It was in my mind wherever I went. Till today I would remember it still. Since then, I've not had anyone else in my life. It was also I wanted a break from all the pain that I've got.
Few years passed.... And finally met someone whom I was interested at first sight. I shan't go into details as most know what happened. But the feelings I had was so great. That it was so good to feel love again. And to be loved. It's like standing on clouds floating... Everything you do, every step you take, every movement you make is like sweetness. Due to some reasons, we went our separate ways. Soon those that I mentioned became darkness. Everything was darkness to me. I felt that I lost my way and didn't know how to get back on track. Like ppl used to say... Time can heal all wounds. And it did. This time round I didn't take such a long time to heal as the other 2 occasions. Maybe the time together was short.
I'm just thinking that the men that I've been with, the background all had lots of problems. Wondering when will I find one without problems. I guess that won't happen. Haha...
Sigh.. I'm just grumbling and wanted to share... hehe.. I'm sure you know who you are.....
Since then, over the years I still had boyfriends, just that they weren't the serious kind. Definitely not those that my dad wants to know of.. hehe...
2nd boyfriend that came along.. Also met him at a bowling centre as I was working overtime. Pleasant looking. Nice to talk to. He works there as arcade attendant. Meaning taking care of those arcade machines, changing money for ppl. So I would go there to play games whenever I'm free or frustrated with work. When the tournament was going to be over, I knew I wouldn't be able to see him again so decided to exchange phone numbers. We kept in contact. I think 6 months later, we are a couple... Everything was sweet as usual. But only last 2 months. Coz that's when HELL broke loose! It's like a decent man became a wolf. He showed his true colours after 2 months. He was bad tempered, rude, possessive, controlling, demanding, unreasonable.... What ppl would called a BEAST! Or an ASSHOLE! Somehow my tolerance level was OVER THE LIMIT.... As in it was so good that I could tolerate for 2 years!... So good that I've became another person that I couldn't recognise even. Lost my friends, almost lost my family. Think my dad kinda gave up on me... He was like do whatever you want... It was HELL! The mental stress, physical stress, was describable. Also he had a "Bian Tai" mother who was against us right from the start as I was born in the year of a Tiger while he was a Snake. And she believed that we would clash. As her husband and herself are the same animal signs.... and they are separated. So during the time we were together, she said lots of things to make us break up. But he stand firm. As the time goes by, he starts to think that maybe his mum is right... and soon believed that we weren't meant for each other. Already enough problems with his mum, his family and now him.... Very unbearable! I look back now and heaved a sigh of relief that I finally gotten over the nightmare and terror. And glad that it's all over.
The 2nd heart break.... was a huge scar for me. It was in my mind wherever I went. Till today I would remember it still. Since then, I've not had anyone else in my life. It was also I wanted a break from all the pain that I've got.
Few years passed.... And finally met someone whom I was interested at first sight. I shan't go into details as most know what happened. But the feelings I had was so great. That it was so good to feel love again. And to be loved. It's like standing on clouds floating... Everything you do, every step you take, every movement you make is like sweetness. Due to some reasons, we went our separate ways. Soon those that I mentioned became darkness. Everything was darkness to me. I felt that I lost my way and didn't know how to get back on track. Like ppl used to say... Time can heal all wounds. And it did. This time round I didn't take such a long time to heal as the other 2 occasions. Maybe the time together was short.
I'm just thinking that the men that I've been with, the background all had lots of problems. Wondering when will I find one without problems. I guess that won't happen. Haha...
Sigh.. I'm just grumbling and wanted to share... hehe.. I'm sure you know who you are.....
posted by Inner-Me @ 10:28 AM
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