Cont'd

Continuation of my post on Men...

A man in my life now... Don't get me wrong.. He's not my boyfriend. Just a friend. He's a nice guy but full of problems... haha... How to find a person without problems... difficult right. His problems are due to his past experience. Was betrayed thus the hurt he had is like 100 times worse than mine. And till today it still haunts him. And he said it will be difficult to warm his heart again.

Sometimes daily life upsets him too. Ppl around him, how he's being treated or certain actions by others. He may look tough but actually quite weak inside. Sometimes I try to reach out but at times it can be tiring. How much I reach out, in the end it depends on the person if he wants help or not.

So we'll see how things go. If it can't be something else, being friends is just as good.

Fellowship

Yup, you heard it right... Church stuffs. Been a long time since I went to such an event. The plan was TT supposed to come pick me up from work and bring me to fellowship...But he overslept... haha... So I went shopping instead. A while later he called and said he'll pick me up somewhere. When I got into his car, somehow I thought we were going for prawning as we were already late for fellowship which was at 2pm... Along the way, I saw a sign that says Punggol... Hmm... That is way far from Jurong.

So I asked TT... and he said we were going to fellowship! ARGH!! I was freaking out! I still felt uncomfortable going to fellowship as I've had terrible experiences before. TT said not to worry and to stick next to him and he'll be there. Entering the carpark, my palms were wet... Getting goose pimples and feeling frightened. TT made jokes and tried to calm me down. He asked "are you afraid of me". I said no... He said so there's nothing to be scared about. Coz he's there. (how comforting) hehe...

Walking nearer to the the house, I was backing out... At the same time, I wanted to go. Those mixed feelings. I mean I'm already outside the house so can give it a try.

Overall, it was ok.... I warmed up only after the end of the session. But we had to leave as TT had to go for TKD. He sent me home...

Hmm... I might and might not go for another fellowship as yet. Not sure.

Men

While travelling to work this morning, I was thinking of the past boyfriends I had in my life. Not many though.. I mean those really serious ones that I've showed my Dad. Age 17, the guy was named Edward Tan Hee Soon. Met him while I was working at a bowling centre. Actually I liked his friend first. So had to asked ET about his friend. Coz of this, I got to know ET more instead. Kind of weird, ppl you wouldn't like but end up liking them. It was my first love. Everything was sweet and in honeymoon period. Also being a first-timer, everything like a green horn. Not sure how to dealt with situations, how to accommodate each other, how to talk even.... etc.... All was an ART! We had our usual arguements (which couple don't!) but overall we got along fine and always had loads of fun. The only problem was his mum. His mum being the old fashioned kind. Saying her son spending too much time with me... She didn't like me from the start. Saying that I never take care of her son. Hello! I'm his girlfriend, not his mother! After 1 year 3 months, the conclusion came... Coz of his mum, we had to break up. It was sad... devastating! First love gone!

Since then, over the years I still had boyfriends, just that they weren't the serious kind. Definitely not those that my dad wants to know of.. hehe...

2nd boyfriend that came along.. Also met him at a bowling centre as I was working overtime. Pleasant looking. Nice to talk to. He works there as arcade attendant. Meaning taking care of those arcade machines, changing money for ppl. So I would go there to play games whenever I'm free or frustrated with work. When the tournament was going to be over, I knew I wouldn't be able to see him again so decided to exchange phone numbers. We kept in contact. I think 6 months later, we are a couple... Everything was sweet as usual. But only last 2 months. Coz that's when HELL broke loose! It's like a decent man became a wolf. He showed his true colours after 2 months. He was bad tempered, rude, possessive, controlling, demanding, unreasonable.... What ppl would called a BEAST! Or an ASSHOLE! Somehow my tolerance level was OVER THE LIMIT.... As in it was so good that I could tolerate for 2 years!... So good that I've became another person that I couldn't recognise even. Lost my friends, almost lost my family. Think my dad kinda gave up on me... He was like do whatever you want... It was HELL! The mental stress, physical stress, was describable. Also he had a "Bian Tai" mother who was against us right from the start as I was born in the year of a Tiger while he was a Snake. And she believed that we would clash. As her husband and herself are the same animal signs.... and they are separated. So during the time we were together, she said lots of things to make us break up. But he stand firm. As the time goes by, he starts to think that maybe his mum is right... and soon believed that we weren't meant for each other. Already enough problems with his mum, his family and now him.... Very unbearable! I look back now and heaved a sigh of relief that I finally gotten over the nightmare and terror. And glad that it's all over.

The 2nd heart break.... was a huge scar for me. It was in my mind wherever I went. Till today I would remember it still. Since then, I've not had anyone else in my life. It was also I wanted a break from all the pain that I've got.

Few years passed.... And finally met someone whom I was interested at first sight. I shan't go into details as most know what happened. But the feelings I had was so great. That it was so good to feel love again. And to be loved. It's like standing on clouds floating... Everything you do, every step you take, every movement you make is like sweetness. Due to some reasons, we went our separate ways. Soon those that I mentioned became darkness. Everything was darkness to me. I felt that I lost my way and didn't know how to get back on track. Like ppl used to say... Time can heal all wounds. And it did. This time round I didn't take such a long time to heal as the other 2 occasions. Maybe the time together was short.

I'm just thinking that the men that I've been with, the background all had lots of problems. Wondering when will I find one without problems. I guess that won't happen. Haha...

Sigh.. I'm just grumbling and wanted to share... hehe.. I'm sure you know who you are.....

Boss Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. CHOW!

Yup! My boss birthday today... Of coz it's the one sitting down. He's one of the 3 bosses that I have. The ladies behind are all my colleagues...

Starting from the left of the picture, Thandar (A/C), Adorable ME, Jenny (QS), Shermaine (A/C), Peggy (Receptionist), Serene (Purchaser), Cynthia (A/C).

Don't we look like one happy family! haha... Actually quite happy lah.. Compared to other offices that I've worked before...



P.S. Jen.... is he your relative??? Haha.. Since it's the same surname as yours...

A Minute?

It takes a min to have a crush on someone,

an hour to like someone,

a day to fall in love with someone,

but it takes a lifetime to really forget someone whom you have grown to LOVE!

Sofa Bed

Finally i purchased my sofa bed after a long search... Found it at V-Hive.. PJ's recommendation! And we bought the same bed too... same colour! haha... But I tell you, it's a very very comfortable bed. The colour should be Charcoal... (so dirt can't be seen) hehe...

Thomas the Tank Engine

I'm sure all of you know who Thomas is... A train known to alot of kids... Especially Ian and Adam. Crazy about them. Managed to get presents for Adam... Lots of stuffs! 3 tees, 1 bag, 1 colouring pencil box. But it's really worth it.. Usually tees would be like $15 and above. Luckily now got sale. hehe... I got myself a Astro Boy figurine (now stuck on top of my pc screen). Now scratching head as to what to buy for Laura.

*pause*

Just sung birthday song for my boss. He's 50th birthday today! He said so scary.. So old liao. The cake was nice.. From Bangawan Solo. Pandan flavour. Must put in the fridge, then it comes out cold.. YUM!

As you all know.. I got a new CPU. Now quite fast and can download songs, watch dvd, burn cd... hehe.. sounds good hor. Everyday busy using eyes to see and fingers typing away.... Haha.. Not typing for work though. More like blogging, surfing net... No lah.. Of coz got work lor. But these few days not much work leh. Filing also finished.

My office going to hire accounts gal again.. YES! Going through the headache of finding the right person again. I guess there's never a right person. Just how good the person can do the job. Currently we have someone to do it but in between got problems so that's why she's leaving. But she's good in her job and she can definitely can the messy acccounts back on the right track.
Only that her character can "kill" us at times. But overall she's still quite ok to get along if she just be more polite and humble at times. I'll try talking to her again and make her stay.

Later going out for dim sum at Geylang... Anyone want to join? Going with my colleagues. And maybe in the late night can go prawning... hehehe... The other time not shiok leh.. Never fish enough to eat...

Better go do some work now...

Talk to you again later.

When the Path is Dark...

Jen messaged me this and I would like to share with all.....

When the path is dark,

and the lights are dim,

we turn to those who fulfil our desires within.

And thru these times when doubts rage,

we realised the concern from those who care.

I thank you for being my listening ear when I am down,

for the moments when life casts a hurtful glare.

Never doubt that I don't care,

you're held closer to my heart than you perceive...

Monday Blueeeeesssssss

Hello Everyone! It's the start of a new week again. How's everyone's mood after the weekend? I guess nothing much.. Or rather the same as usual. Either going out, or staying home hor.. hehee...

Saturday was hell of a hot day! So hot till I almost felt I was melting. And I wasn't wearing black. Can't imagine those ppl who wears black. Met up with Janet after work. Headed to Selegie Centre. Finally found the face threading place. First time trying face threading.. Threading on the eyebrow was $5. The face was $12. It was painful doing the eyebrow part (tears rolling down) but the face part was more like massage. Quite comfortable...

Bobo finally collected his tv from me.. He was so worried that it didn't work (so was I) as the tv was left untouched for 5 years! Upon reaching home, quickly do testing. THANK GOODNESS IT WORKS! He was happy as now can watch tv without having to keep switching on & off the buttons... haha...

*pause*... for lunch break

I think Jen, myself, PJ all are FUMMING MAD today! Jen got bombed by everyone... Giving her work which not really her duty. PJ had an "interesting" email from her colleague... And me, pissed off with boss and the new acccounts. I was so angry.... My receptionist never seen me so angry before.. and kept trying to cool me down... *blowing hot hair*

Later going to see Da vinci Code. Should be an interesting show. Jen's going to intro to us her new friend... Hopefully all turns out well.....

It's Friday!

Yipee! Coming nearer to the weekend already. So frustrated with my accounts gal this morning until we couldn't take it that to voice out to my boss. She really don't show respect for the ppl she works with and always thinks she's the right one. And directly telling my receptionist that she got no brains! She even told the boss that she got no mood to work today so taking half day leave. She told my purchaser that the boss better not cut her pay for the half day leave today.. Can you believe it!

After shouting at my accounts, my voice became worse. My throat is killing me. Still not recovered from flu and cough, or rather it have become worse now. Went to the doctor again this morning, got a stronger dose of medication. Hopefully I get well before I travel to KL next month..

Yes! I'm going to KL on 2nd week of June. Taking Ian on a 5 hour bus ride.... He will love it! We are going to attend Laura & Adam's birthday party... Hmmm.. What present should I get? Think Adam I'll be getting the Thomas the tank engine items... I saw a haversack at Mini Toons yesterday. Cute!

Meeting up the gang tonight for Huiyu's birthday dinner. I've got a cup for her.... As my conversation with PJ last night, she's going to give her a cup too.. haha... So coincidence! Supposed to meet up with Carol & Angie at Zouk tonight but I doubt I will go as I don't dance and I won't be able to drink anything cold... So no point going. Maybe I'll catch up with Carol on Saturday before she heads for Phuket on Sunday morning.

Finally doing a little bit of my filing... If not my boss going to strangle me... As I've not done any filing for coming 3 weeks already. Yipee! I'm going to get a new CPU. Finally! Pentum 4! So looking forward to it.....

Ok.. Back to filing

Chat

PJ.... ......

MiSsInG

YoU

OnLiNe

LeH!!!!!!!

:-(

An Old Fren

Met up with Angie, Carol, Rick, Auntie Alice and the rest for dinner at the Club. To the 3 of us, it's like meeting up old frens in a Club we grew up in, where we spent most of our childhood. Quite excited! I knew Carol when I was 9 years old. She was the one who approached me first at the swimming pool. It all seems like just yesterday.

Auntie Alice was surprised to see Celeste (Angie's daughter). Couldn't believe she had a daughter. To alot of ppl, we were still the kids playing by the pool, or hanging out in the bowling centre almost everyday. Like Carol said yesterday, the Club to us was like a place where we can just walk in to have our makan, or use the toilet or if there's no where to go, we'll be here. Also if we don't have money to pay, we would eat here as we can sign. haha....

The dinner went well.. Talked about old times, talked about current times. Auntie Alice looks much taller and had quite a big boob.. haha... Carol & Rick have gone to most of the tourist places like Little India, Arab Street, Chinatown, Turf City, Sentosa (horrid place according to them) As Sentosa was having renovation, everywhere was kinda like close or bulldozer everywhere. Couldn't hear properly as the drilling was going on. Also they aren't used to the hot weather here, thus was like perspiring and sticky all over. Carol's feet was even swollen from all that walking. Had to get another pair of sandals too. Rick was good with the map according to Carol. He was more like a Singaporean than any of us here.. haha.. *pai sei*

We headed to Clark Quay to check out the new place. Heard from PJ that is newly renovated... It was nice, I tell you! At least it looks like a decent makan, clubbing, pubbing place. The decor was nice too... We passed Hooters and Rick's eyes was going wild.. haha.. Carol was staring at him! Carol wanted to get a shirt so we went in. Upon paying, we realised that one sleeveless shirt cost $52.50!!! Gosh! SOOOO EXPENSIVE! She decided not to buy. Not worth it. Might as well just write the hooters word on a plain shirt herself! Found a few interesting drinking places like Indochine. There were many places to just sit & chat. Soothing decor too. Gals, we check out next time hor....

Was trying to find where is "Ministry of Sounds". No idea what that place was about. Heard of Ministry of Manpower, Ministry of Education... But not MOS. TT said he's heard of it but don't know where it is. PJ said it's somewhere around Liang Court. Finally found it after turning a few rounds. The place was like a disco. Smoky... crowded... Eeeks! I told Carol they can go ahead while I head home.

*yawn*

Missing Luggage

Janet came over to my house yesterday to pass me the thumb drive... Since she so nice, I cooked dinner for her. Nothing special. Just green vegetables, pork and tofu soup.

As we were checking out the light in the 2nd room, I was just telling her that I have a luggage that I can bring to Korea. When she opened the cupboard to check out the luggage, I was shocked to find the bag missing!!! I stared at the cupboard for a while before snapping out of it... Then I asked myself where my luggage went.. The first person I could think of was Venus. So picked up the phone to call her.

Her first sentence to me was "Oh, you mean you didn't know" *scratching head*. What was I suppose to know I thought?? She said "Oh, your brother in law took it back" *again scratch head* Why take it back I thought? She said "Coz he didn't have a bag to use". I said "Didn't anyone thought of informing me"... WEIRD RIGHT! I'm just a phone cal or SMS away you know... She said he could have forgotten. *scratch head again" How could anyone forget if you are taking something away from the house!

The more I thought of it, the more pissed off I got. Coz it's like ppl take it for granted that coz it's family then you don't have to mentioned it. (I just don't understand how can anyone forget if you are standing at my house, in front of my cupboard, yet never think of informing me of it) And when I try to find out the answer, ppl assume that it's such a small matter why blow it up...

Think of a scenerio. If I was going to take all the jewellery away from your house, then I tell you I forget to tell you... You say got logic or not!

*tsk tsk tsk*

Weird Dream!

Had a weird dream last night... Usually ppl say if you remember the dream well, it won't come true. Thank goodness! If not, my head would be rolling down if my fren were to find out.

Dream I was with my dating my fren's boyfriend.. haha... I think my fren and her bf already broke up so we dated lor. And we were all lovey dovey. Even when my fren appeared, she didn't look angry or upset. She even told me to go ahead as long as both were in love (so "da fang"). Haha... Where got so generous ppl around hor...

Wonder how come I dream of something like that... Hmm...

Good Morning To All! Especially to the gal in Depot Road (almost wanted to say defu lane)... hehe.. How's work ah?? Busy hor.... Got more juicy news from your Manager or any 4-d numbers to buy?? Luckily you told me about your unit number if not I wouldn't even noticed I won.

Managed to call my fren today. She was in town since Sunday but unable to get thru to her. She'll only be here for 1 week so time is precious. Hopefully will get to see her tomorrow for dinner.

Time seems to be running pretty fast today. And I haven't done much work yet... hehe... Yesterday my dad bought dessert for my sister and so bought my share too. He was shocked to know that the price of the "Or ni" is so expensive.. $16 per box! Pai sei to return it so took it home... But it was very yummy! (fattening too)

The jamu I took making my tummy go goo goo ga ga... It was so painful this morning when I was travelling in the bus. Face almost turned blue... haha

Have a good day!

Sleepy!

I'm so sleepy today. Slept yesterday afternoon still not enough. Almost couldn't get up for work today. Felt like taking leave.. haha.. But not many days of leave left.

Jen, are you back from your romantic get-a-away? Any juicy news for your dear old fren. I'm sure our ears are all there for you!

My mind is still back on my bed... haven't reached office yet.

Talk later.. till i get my brains back here.

*********************************************************************************************
Part 2 (after lunch)

Brains are back now that I've had my home-made lunch. Chicken & fish with rice. Run out of vegetables. Shall go buy more later. I'm still sleepy. * yawn*

To my earlier blog on some feelings... I think I might have to change the answers abit.. haha.. Not exactly sure if what I'm feeling is correct. But definitely not the answers which I said earlier of everything NO LEH!

Like a fren said, before I get all my feelings in order, I would have to really know the person first. I think that's the basic to liking a person. I mean you can like anyone in the world. But to know if you can get along with the person and treat him like he's your soulmate, that's another issue. So hopefully I do get that chance.

Hopefully the person doesn't think I was trying to play hard to get each time he asked me out before. The last few times was really timing clashes.

OH MAN! With or without love, is such a headache!

So help me GOD!

A Good News

Got a call from a fren. Her message was to spread out good news. That her worries turned into something good. Got accepted by the one she loves. Actually expected what her answer was.... REALLY HAPPY FOR HER! CONGRATS!

But now sitting at my desk, thinking about what she said. Makes me think of myself. When will I get the one I love too???

Recently PJ asked me a few questions about how I felt about TT. The questions can't totally remember but something like:

1. What I felt about TT?
2. How do I feel when I'm with TT, example like going for kopi with him, talking to him?
3. Do I feel excited when he sms or when he calls?
4. Do I feel like I wanted to see him when I can't?
5. Do I feel like my heart is thumping when I'm around him?

Answers:
1. Nothing special. No sparks
2. Normal lor.
3. No leh
4. No leh
5. No leh

Haha.. From the answers it's quite obvious already. Maybe I don't have whatever feelings I should have it's coz I haven't really got to know him well enough yet. Also whenever he asked me out, there's always something blocking (as I told the 2 gals). Like something will be in the way when we want to go out. It's either he asked me after I've had dinner or I'm out with my frens... etc. Even when he was suppose to come & fetch me one day, it didn't happen as he didn't know where my office was.

PJ told me that it's fated that we are friends, but not fated yet to be anything more than that. I agree too. Also my "tian-zhu" is suppose to attract people and not "chase" ppl away.. hehe

I was telling J that it could be coz I don't know TT well thus having not sure feelings. And the above all don't count. Could be due to the lack of confidence that I have to try on new things. Meaning though sometimes I would love to go out with TT but there's always something that I fear.

I think once i conquer that fear, I'll be able to move on.

What Color Heart Do You Have?

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.

Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.

Your flirting style: Coy

Your lucky first date: Picnic in the Park

Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant

What brings you to Relationships: Romance

Are you a Good Cook?

You've got the makings of an excellent cook, and the desire to be one.

But right now, you're just lacking the experience.

You couldn't be the top chef, but you could be an apprentice.


haha... this is so accurate!

What Time Of Day Are You?

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment,
no matter how ordinary.

You are a person of reflection, meditation.

You start and end every day by looking inward.

Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy.

You're often cooking for others or buying them gifts.

And in all, you know how to love life for what it is
not for how it should be.

Am I Hot?

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned
with how "hot" you are

Other people's ideas of whats sexy don't concern you.

And this is exactly what you attractive.

Sometimes...

A thought I had this morning while travelling to work....

Sometimes I wonder if there's something missing in my life that made me think of ppl that I missed. Thought I would forget, but the more I tried to forget the more I remembered.

And when I remembered, I try not to forget as I'm afraid memories will soon be erased from my mind.

How ironic!

Not MIA

Hello! I'm not missing in action or out of town. Been busy with work, friends, Ian and busy cooking, trying out new receipes. As you all know now I bring lunch to work, so usually on weekday nights, I'm home trying out new dishes. Also a good way for me to practice. Sometimes I eat a dish outside and I'll come home to try to cook it. My frens are all asking me when I'm asking them over for guinea pig session.. haha... SOON!

Had alot of happenings everyday and on the weekends. Just that too sian to go online to blog about it. Thought I come in now to say HI in case anyone is wondering where I am.... hehe

Too long a story to tell you from the last time I blog to recently. So I'll just start with my day of Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday, I brought Ian to Bishan Fire Station for tour. They had special activities other than the usual saturday morning tour. We arrived at around 9.30am. Saw a few adults with 4 other kids. Ian was facinated by the big engines and the ladder truck (not sure the exact name) His eyes didn't even blink and with his mouth open wide! :)

We were introduced to the firemans, put out fire, hold onto the water hose and shoot! Saw how the fireman go down the sliding pole, put on the children's fireman put. Go up the ladder almost to the height of 9th storey. Draw picture on a tee-shirt & get to bring it home. Got a mini helmet as souvenir.

It was really interesting. Even the adults were fascinated! Took some pictures with the Fireman before heading home. It was a good morning outing. Ian enjoyed himself alot as he said. And he would wan to go again next sat.

YoOhOo!