Blue Blue Monday

Didn't get enough sleep last night. Woke up at 3.30am! Couldn't get back to sleep till an hour later.. uRgH!!!

At work, just wanted to be quiet in the morning... Wasn't in any mood to talk to anyone thus kept to myself in case I snapped out of the blue.

Things didn't go too well in the later day. Was just in those really BLUE BLUE MONDAYS! One document can type wrongly so many types, so much filing to do. So many irritating phonecalls. Anything that comes by was frustrating and irritating!

I wasn't the only one feeling so shitty. The rest of my collegues were very quiet too.... Some were feeling sleepy, some was just getting better from flu. Some was just plain moody.

When 5.30pm came, so eager to get home asap. Jen wanted to watch Brokeback Mountain... I saw the trailers and it was InTeReStInG.... But too tired to go anywhere as I was mentally and physically tired. Dozed off sitting in the bus, overshot my bus stop so took the bus to the interchange and took another one back home.

Aiya! Not just having filing in the office, but have filing at home too. Thinking about my monthly bills... So sian that my salary won't be coming tomorrow. Don't know when. Hopefully before I go to JB for massage this Sunday. Sigh! :-(

*Frustrated*

Final Destination 3

Caught this movie on Friday night with Janet. Jen was sitting a few rows below with her colleague, J and her husband.

Story goes like this.. Wendy and her friends went celebrating for their graduation at an amusement park. She got a sixth sense right before their rollercoaster ride that they will all die in it. She shouted for everyone to get off but nobody believed her and they went ahead for the ride. Only 7 of them managed to escape. But still, one by one, they will still end up having the same fate.

The storyline was smiliar to part 1 & 2. Only that the scenes in part 3 were more GROSS & BLOODY! The worst scene was the 2 gals burning up in the suntan bed. They were struggling to get out but couldn't.. And slowly burnt to death... Eeeks! A guy getting his head smashed up by weights... If you like gross movies, definitely can watch this one.

As we deciding where to have dinner, one suggested to go for another movie... So ON lah! Torn between Rumor Has It and Pink Panther. Ended up with Pink Panther... The storyline wasn't that great. It was just the actions of Steve Martin that acted as Inspector Jacques Clouseau that was funny. But I wouldn't recommend watching that movie.

Prawn Fishing

Interesting title isn't it.... Jen asked me if I wanted to join her, Stephen and Issac to fish prawn.. Sounds good as I've never done it before and a good chance to meet Issac for the first time. Before heading there, I was thinking whether to sit on Jen's bike or take a cab... Finally ended up on Jen's bike as the taxi queue was really LONG!

Putting on the helmet, trying to figure out how the hell to get onto the bike was a challenge... HAHA! Jen suggested me getting onto the back seat first which was a pretty good idea. Just that my fat thighs couldn't lift up so had to use my hands to help... hehe.. (time to lose weight) On the bike, I was abit uncomfortable at first as my butt seems too big for the seat... But after adjusting, I was getting the hang of it and starting to enjoy the breeze. Sitting on the back reminds me of 6 years ago when I had my first ride on a scooter... This time slightly different as it was a gal in front of me and I wasn't sure where to hold, so i just put my hands to the side of Jen's thighs. hehe... Overall, the ride was good... 2 bumps that gave me a fright... But we still managed to reach the destination safely as Jen was a good driver!

Then again, thinking how to get off the bike... Again used my hands to bring my fat thigh down.. So pai sei as Stephen was there waiting for us.. And looking at me getting off the bike... (shy shy) The place we went didn't look like a pond place.. More like a karoke joint. As we got closer, we saw prawn pond cum karoke.... The karoke was terrible.. Senior citizens singing oldies.. AIYO! Can make you sleep...

I was being introduced to Stephen and later Issac as he was busying using his hands to fish prawn. The place was quite crowded. There were kids, adults. Some came as a family, some as couples. Prawn fishing is almost the same as normal fishing. The rod, hook, prawn bites, water, etc. Just that this isn't the big sea. More like a small swimming pool.

We sat down just watching others, checking out the place, and how ppl fished. Stephen called out to Jen asking her to try out... I sat there watching. Chit-chatting with Stephen and Jen.. Issac came to join us so everyone started talking and talking and laughing. It was pretty nice.. I started smsing PJ telling her that things seems to be going on well. Where we were fishing, the pond didn't seem like the prawn were getting hooked. So they decided to switch to another pond. Ended up Stephen and Jen fishing at one place while me & Issac fishing at another place.

At a point of time, I realised that Jen was "missing"... Hmm.. That made me wonder if she was trying to let me have sometime alone with Issac. We talked.. He asked some questions and vice versa. (PJ would be asking me "what questions?)" Questions like where you stay, what work you do, what do you do in your free time, some jokes, some teasing, teaching me on prawn fishing... etc... Overall the chit-chat was nice. Though it was the first time meeting, but I warmed up pretty fast. Maybe coz they made the first move in talking and they were friendly and very talkative. :P Issac was telling Jen that if they have other outings or gatherings or any occasion, can bring me along.....

I managed to catch 2 prawns.. hehe... After that Stephen BBQ them... YUMMY! Stephen told some jokes and more chit-chatting before we headed home.. I sat in Issac's car as Stephen had to go to Issac's house to get his bike. Issac is a FAN OF TARE PANDA! He was wearing tare panda shirt, his exterior of the car were stickers of tare panda. Interior of the car was also tare panda. And he looks like tare panda too.. hehe..

Jen followed behind.. Hmm... They were concerned about how Jen was riding, especially whenever she made a corner turn.. Issac turned on the music.. CHINESE SONGS! My favourite! haha.. We shared the same kind of music.. Started singing to it.. Then a familiar song came "GUO HUO".... As the traffic lights came to a stop, we wind down the window for Jen to listen too.. hehehe.. And she started singing to it too.

Issac stays at upper thomson area. Big house too. Like those semi-detached. After Stephen got his bike, we started to head to my house.. No idea why Stephen and Jen followed too as they were supposed to head to Tanjong Pagar. Maybe Jen was worried that Issac would dropped me off at some ulu place (Issac said this)
So I had 3 bodyguards to send me right to my flat. Now everyone knows where I stay...

Before heading to my unit, we talked about tomorrow.. bike washing day... and good byes and good night... I even managed to tease Issac before walking off.. And he was "fuming cheekily"

So that's the story above for tonight's prawn fishing "date". hehe.. I really had a good time.. Not just good company but good food as well.... THANKS JEN! Looking forward to more prawn fishing in other places and deep sea fishing.. Wow! More new things for me to venture.

Time to sleep now.. If not, I'll be the one looking like tare panda!

Good Night!

Life Quotes

Saw some interesting quotes from an email... Thus decided to share with everyone out there...

TRUE HAPPINESS!
"True Happiness is not always to achieve my goals, but to learn to appreciate with what I have achieved"

EMOTIONS!
"Control your emotions, instead of letting your emotions control you"

SMILE!1
"There are many languages in the world, but a smile speaks them all. Keep smiling"

MARRIAGE!
"Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering" (the last one depends on individual)

BEAUTY!
"The average woman rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think"

A FRIEND IS A TREASURE!
"True friends are scarce, and when you have found one you have found a true treasure"

Who's Handsome?

Found this photo in my Dad's computer. Think this photo was taken 1 year ago.. My Dad and my Uncle Patrick.

Who's more handsome? Hehe... Both of them got their own charm.

cheers!

About Me

I am not an high achiever.
I like going to the mall, checking out new fashion. The latest crave I have now is ADIDAS!
I would like to drive. But never had the courage to. Always failing my theory test.
I like other people driving me. hint :}
I know we are all selfish. If you know someone is more selfish than you are, don't waste your time / energy
on them. It will never work out.
I dislike using the phone. Unless it is for text messaging or there's an interesting topic to chat about.
I am a good listener. But that doesn't mean that you have to come and tell me non-sensical crap! I will humor you though and act like I am listening.
I love music. Music from 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. Rock or head shaking music drives me NUTS!
I have very little patience for stupidity.
I believe in comfort before fashion.
I am well aware of people who mean something to me. If you think you fall into that category, good for you. Peijun, Jen, Janet <---- you definitely fall in this category.

Lunch Break

Sitting here holding my heart shape pillow and listening to oldies that is blasted out from my colleague's pc. He's got alot of nice oldies like Theresa Teng, etc...

Dunno what to write leh.. Feeling sleepy after eating the yummy sin chew beehoon.. YUM!

Yesterday was out with Peijun to have "Rabbit Meal" at Lucky Plaza. We had abalone and sharksfin and other side dishes. Cheap and good! How to lose weight with all these yummy food around! Never mind lah.. Just be CUTE lah.

Headed for Marks & Spencer. PJ managed to get her jacket.. Cheap also. After discount only $50. I got a pair of jeans for $30.. The sale was really worth it. Jen joined us after that. We were telling her about our yummy abalone dinner and she was envious.. :D

Jen showed PJ on Issac's photo.. PJ said cute... haha.. Why cute leh? Coz he was also big size. Issac's got a nice cooper. Hmm.. Wonder when I can have a ride in it?? hint hint...

Jen said she's trying to matchmake me & Issac and intend to organise an outing so we can all go meet Issac.. Sounds interesting isn't it.. I was telling Min that I've got 2 good consultants. One is to help me scan from top to toe, inside out (PJ). Other to organise (Jen).

Thanks Gals!

Ways of Work or Life?

I was irritated at work today by one of my colleague. So stubborn, so blur, so trying to be smart but not smart. I started grumbling to PJ... And she sent me this email which makes alot of sense. I think ppl nowadays is as per what it says here.

Said Also Don't Listen

Listen Also Don't Understand

Not Understand Also Don't Ask

Ask Also Don't Do

Do Also Do Wrong

Wrong Also Don't Admit

Admit Also Don't Correct

Correct Also Not Happy

Not Happy Also Don't Say

Doesn't the above sound familiar to you? Don't you get all these frustrations during work or at home or in life...

But life still goes on isn't it...

Take it easy, Gal!

Our HouseKeeper, Venus

Was chit-chatting in the pantry with my colleagues. The subject was on maids. My colleague have a indonesian maid and was talking about how scary and dangerous it is to hire a maid. As sometimes the maids are not so caring or attentive as the parents themselves. And they tend to be more blur or pretend to be stupid when it comes to certain matters.

As you all know, everyday there are cases of maids throwing babies down the building or employers doing nasty things to maids or vice versa... I think it all comes down to being lucky. And how the employers treat their maids.

Sudden thought came to my mind.. VENUS! We've had her for more than 10 years already. Though we have minor problems with her but never major problems like those mentioned above or those you see in the papers everyday. She's like a part of our family now. My dad treats her like his daughter and I treat her like my sister.. She's not like other maids where they stay home most of the time... Venus follows my dad almost to everywhere. She even joins in when we go karoke, or makan, etc.

She's been such a great help to our family. And really appreciate her and love her lots...

Cheque Writer?

Found this antique machine in my fren's house.. Not really sure what it is. But it's got numbers on it.. Looks like a old cheque writer.

What do you think?

Views from Amberville

My Nanny & Family

Sitting and listen to "Black Eyed Peas" - Don't Phunk With my Heart. As usual blasting the music out of the window. I'm at Gu po's house (my nanny) I was here since yestereday afternoon. Went to the hospital to visit my uncle (nanny's husband).... The reason why I'm here started from 2 days ago when I went to TTSH.


Back track to Thursday, 16 February 2006.

TTSH... The thought of going there today, brings back memories. Beautiful, warm feelings I had on 5 July 2005. Something that would make me smile at the thought of it. At my most vunerable moment, I had someone there for me. I was having high fever then. I called my dad to bring me to the hospital and he told me to go on my own as he was bowling. I sms Sean that I was not feeling well... Then next moment, he appeared at my door step with a white t-shirt and blue short (like PE shorts), standing there with his wallet and handphone in one hand. As I was feeling dizzy and warm coz of the fever, he looked like an angel from God. An angel with sexy slim legs! :D

He brought me to the doctor first.... At the doctor's referral, I was asked to go to TTSH due to the fever I was having. TTSH was crowded as usual.. I was too weak to walk thus Sean held on to me and got me registered.. He was there the whole time, kept me company and safe. I felt really loved and warm. Also his shoulders.... which he calls it the Hanger Shoulders as it was hard, and stiff. But to me, it was the most comfortable shoulders I've ever leaned on. And the smell of his perfume..... Hmmm... Okok.. Coming back to my actual story. Going back to TTSH it's only a memory now, but at least it was a sweet one that I'll never ever forget.

My actual reason to TTSH was to visit my uncle. He was having high fever... He's got parkinson, lungs failing and due to old age, the doctors said no hope already. He was really looking bad. Had to breathe through a oxygen mask. Very skinny more like boney. Felt so sad seeing him like this. When K.L told him I was here to see him, he grabbed hold of my fingers so tightly. I guess for his memory, he remembers things very long time ago but not recently.

I stayed with him for a few hours together with K.L. Making sure his mask didn't fall off his face and seeing his ok and fallen asleep. Was chatting with K.L. She's very tired. Talking about what happened to her dad made her tear. She ranks 2nd in the family. But I've seen how she took care of her parents attentatively. She's done alot more than her other siblings. She's the one who's been keeping the family going. Making sure there's family gatherings, cooking for them whenever they come over every sunday. And with all these, she's never complained about anything.

Talking about the past now...

I was being brought over to my nanny at the age of 19 months. My mum was sick at that time so couldn't take care of me. They stayed at Bukit Merah. That area was surrounded by market, coffee shops, mamak shops.. My uncle used to bring me downstairs to buy candy. Showing me off to his friends and neighbours. I enjoyed it very much... Gu po have got 3 children. 2 daughters & 1 son. Everyone doted on me. Gu po treated me like her own daughter too. My stay with them lasted till I was 4 years old according to K.L. Till today I've kept in contact with them. Nowadays it's the grand daughter who updates me on the happenings at her house.. Qianyu & peiyu calls me sister. Sometimes I would come over to their house & stay for the weekend.

I'm amazed by these 2 gals. They are very obedient and helpful. Since young, her mum has taught them to do simple cooking, housework and taking care of their cousins and grandparents. And when you asked them to do a task, they will never take their own sweet time or complain or ask you to wait. So don't you think they are very good children...

Now that K.L. goes to the hospital, the 2 gals will look after gu po. They will take care of her daily needs which is feeding, bathing, etc.. They have a routine on what gu po needs to do in the day till she sleeps at night. And all these are done without their parents yelling or shouting at them to do it. The parents have really brought them up well! Qianyu is studying nursing. I'm sure she can be a good nurse!

Very Important People Award

Very Important Person Award

Presented to

PAPA BILL

&

TAN PUAY KOON

&

CHAN HUIMIN

Be it hereby recognized that the above named

Persons are the VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE

in my life,

By virtue of many demonstrated acts,

Among which are these :

• Always being there when I need you
• Understanding my moods and knowing
• my dearest desires
• Loving me when I'm up and down and in-between
• Being a source of patience, love and strength, even when I'm irrational
• Somehow always bringing out the best in me
• Even when taken for granted by me, continuing to provide for the needs and desires of the unpredictable creature I am

IN GRATEFUL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF

ALL THE ABOVE,

THIS AWARD IS GIVEN

THIS DAY OF 19 FEBRUARY 2006

SIGNED :

your daughter

&

your "sister"

&

your niece

Use This Rules To Survive A Loss

This post is specially dedicated to a fren of mine who recently had the same experience and anyone out there who just had a breakup or feeling down lately and not really sure what to do with life for now.. Hopefully it will help.

I strongly believe that almost any person must have encountered the feeling of loss when being told by the other person that a best option for both was breaking up for unknown or absurd reasons. The reaction is PAINFUL. You feel the emptyness physically although this is impossible in theory. Every word is useless or annoying.

You hate other persons around you because you can’t stand the humiliation. This is the main reason for the tendency of isolation. Moving on seems impossible because there are too many things which still connect you to the other person. Everywhere you go or whatever you do, it will always trigger something of what you spent time with each other. In time you realize that it wasn’t your fault and you create a shell which should protect you from sorrow.

This might be an option but due to the fact that it is almost always based on hatred or disgust it should be diminished: not for the the person who had broken up with but for you who shouldn’t keep these feelings inside you as they will eventually destroy you. Further on, I will make some suggestions that will be easily move over and forget about bad feelings:

1) Don’t think about having a gathering for this reason. Sometimes. solitude can make you understand better what has happened and make you pass the bad moment. Moreover, this gathering would only upset you by having to tell everybody what has happened. Only do it when you are prepared to face everyone with answers. Especially your close friends.

2) You should be grateful for the fact that you won’t be needing to see someone who has no feelings for you. It is better this way as you get to meet someone worthwhile who would share your feelings. (this is definitely easier said than done)

3) Move on and look at the bright side. This will definitely help you to cope better with difficult moments; it also prepares you to meet someone else. Maybe, afterall, you were also a little bored with that person and you wanted something new.

4) Be self-assured. It wasn’t your fault and that doesn’t make you the culprit for the situation. In any case, it is good to learn from your mistakes and even better to learn from the other’s mistakes. This can stop you from choosing the same kind of person. Once bitten, twice shy.

5) Try to make from any going out or dating, a new experience. Having more relationships can generate a better understanding of their tricks and lessons. This way you will learn to foresee and never be hurt again. This is the beauty of it all. This way, the relationship becomes a game where everything is possible.

All in all, life in itself is a game and games are generally intended to entertain us. Just learn to entertain yourself and everything becomes so easy.

Originated from another blogger.

Life

Life is complex. Why?

Simpler than it seems, yet harder than you would ever imagine.

Reality is full of bends and distorts, and it is never nor will ever be complete and definitive.

The way you see the world, your perception, changes you and your reality.

Believe in people.

Not because you know they're honest, nor because this has been proven to be right.

Believe in people because it is something that is worth to believe.

Don't think much about the past, nor the future, focus in what is happening, even by the day.

You'll fall if you don't look forward.

You'll always be left behind if you don't catch up.

Look forward to everyday as that's how precious life is. Once lost, you can never turn back the clock. You'll only live once! Learn to treasure and enjoy every moment in life.

My Dad

Hmmmm... An incident happened today at the shop. Volcano eruption, fire burning, words spitting, oil boiling... Whatever words you can think of that is HOT HOT HOT. A frustrated happening that occured few days ago. That my Dad brought up just now... In front of my frens...WAH LAO! SO PAI SEI LEH!

So I decided to walk out of the door to cool off. I was talking to Min on the phone and started crying.. Maybe too stressed out over the whole matter.

After cooling off, headed to the club for dinner. I was soft hearted upon seeing my dad limping. His last injury on his knee wasn't getting any better.. Felt so bad to see him that way. But of coz I didn't show it, maybe too shy or too stubborn.

While waiting for our food to come, I was looking at my dad.. And realised how much he have aged. The white hair, getting bald, the shape of the face starting to sunk in. That made me think of how he was throughout the years I've known him...

Frankly if you asked me if I really know my dad very well, I really don't. I've never been close to him or learn to know him. The years that I really got to know him better was when he's around 50 years old. Can't say I really know him very well now other straightforwardness. But I've learnt to listen to him talk, grumble or just snap off. I used to "shout" when talking to him. Not in a rude way, but wants him to hear me like an adult. After many years, that habit changed as he would listen when I wanted to speak. Sometimes he still wants his way... Ex-police officer! Sometimes talking to him like being interrogated. That's his tone and way of talking! Can't change.

But I can damn well ADMIT that he's a DAMN, BLOODY GOOD, GREAT PAPA! I wouldn't want anything else except for my old, funny, Dad! He's a cool, very straightforward, cheeky man (alot of my frens would agree on that) They call him COOL Man! Some said they've never met a Dad like him before... Which Dad at the age of 72 would still be driving a Merz, acting, going for massage, or karaoke, or driving all over singapore just to find good food. He's a Dad who knows how to enjoy life while he can. He used to say those old man who sits downstairs the HDB block who does nothing is like waiting for the "time to come".

When he laughs, make me wanna laugh too. We can chat about anything in the world, from conservative topics to the naughtiest, dirty, corniest, anything you can think of.. Even the sex topics.. Haha.. When it comes to this topic, his mind turns very fast. Like he used to quote before "I HAVE MY BALLS POLISHED EVERY SUNDAY". (Min tot he was so hardworking to get his bowling balls polished) HAHAHA. ButI'm sure most of the people who knows me would have heard this quote before and know the actual meaning to it... Now his balls aren't being polished so often. Maybe that's part of the reason for his grumpiness.

My dad is like my lover, someone who makes me laugh or sad. Someone who stands by me no matter what. Someone who complains and grumbles but still tell everyone I'm his favourite! He's always there in his own special way. Though we never say the "I love you" very often... but we all know it in our hearts. And when I say the 3 letter word, my dad would start wondering if I did something wrong! hehe... I guess in our side of the family we are the less expression kind of ppl.. We only show it by action once in a blue moon. Sometimes I would give him kisses on his face, and he would smile.... :)

I know when he's not around, I'll miss him terribly. I try not to think about it but my uncle would remind me sometimes. But it's also good to have someone to remind me at times so that I can buck up. (i think most ppl would know what i mean)

Here are pictures of my WONDERFUL DAD...

1. Baby photo.. this huge birthday card was made on his 70th birthday. Celebrated at AC (as usual) AC is like our family gathering place! Doesn't he look adorable.

2. This picture, most of my frens & colleagues said he looks like "Wong Fei Hong"..

3. Taken with my uncle pat in KL. It was a pool party for the children.. Don't you think my uncle
is such a HANDSOME man... But of coz my Dad is more matured and have a manly figure!.. haha.. if my uncle is reading this, he would be laughing his head off.

4. This taken at the club again. Had dinner with venus that night. As you can see dad's mouth is like he was saying something. He was trying to imitate how the philipinos say the word "FLASH" with the wrong accent...

5. This taken at my Godsis wedding last year. Finally seeing myself in a dress after so many years... My colleagues said this photo of my dad looks like a rich englishman.

I LOVE YOU, DAD!

A special edition of mini STOUT

As you can see the above title, and you will definitely think of BOBO! The guiness stout man! Why do I say that? Coz he's a BIG FAN of Guiness Stout.. For those that knows him, DON'T WE ALL AGREE!!!

What happened was... Peijun said wanted to get BB a stout cup for Valentine's Day. She found it on the internet but the seller was in another country... While we were searching on the yahoo auctions, a thought came to my mind... Since AC have that kind of glass, maybe they could buy it for me. So I called Uncle Mus from security.. to assist me on this....

Few days later, he called me. GOOD NEWS!! YIPEE!! Mus managed to get the cup and it's for free! Cool hor... Didn't have to pay for a single cent.. What a good deal..

So today's mission was to come & get the cups, have dinner at eagles and drinks at the union bar. And to surprise BB! He really liked the cups.. Smiling from one end to the other...

His message to Peijun and she forwarded to me was "IF YOU GET A GLASS THAT HE DRINKS AT AC, THE CUP IS COMMON BUT THIS IS THE SMALLEST VERSION THEY'VE HAD AND IT'S CUTE. I'M GOING TO WASH IT AND PLACE IN THE FRIDGE FOR MY NEXT DRINK"

From his above expression, you can definitely tell that he really appreciated the mini cup...

Cheers!

Few days later... His first drink in the guiness stout mini.... SOYA BEAN MILK! AIYO!!

Valentine's Date

For those who are waiting for me to update you on my Valentine's Day Date...

Please wait!

As I'm tired...mentally & physically now... So when I got mood to write.. You'll see it here.... hehe

Good night Peijun! Good night Jen!

Bottle Tree

Uploading 2 pictures first.. Still waiting for Mui Cheng to send the rest of it. This was taken at a restaurant called Bottle Tree located around Sembawang.

Will upload more pictures and story later...

Syriana

Just reached home. Had gone to the movies with Jen. Title as above. From the trailers, title sounds interesting. Below is the storyline....

Stephen Gaghan, who won an Oscar for Best Screenplay for TRAFFIC, makes his directorial debut with SYRIANA, an espionage thriller set in the Middle East. George Clooney stars as Bob Barnes, a longtime CIA agent preparing to slow down his life and spend more time with his teenage son (Max Minghella). But his last secret mission, getting rid of Prince Nasir (Alexander Siddig), turns out to be more complicated than he imagined, placing him in the middle of a dangerous conspiracy involving government corruption, oil, and international terrorism. Matt Damon, plays Bryan Woodman, an energy man whose ethics become vulnerable after the horrific loss of one of his sons. Meanwhile, in Washington, D.C., lawyers Bennett Holiday (Jeffrey Wright) and Dean Whiting (Christopher Plummer) also must choose between the government's special interests and what's best for the world (as well as their own special interests)

After the movie, I was confused! Haha! I don't usually watch this kind of show as I find it boring... But overall this show I quite enjoyed it... Then headed to meet peijun for dinner. Went to swensen. I had my favourite teriyaki chicken with pasta...

Peijun realised that where we sat was very bright.. And we realised that coz the rest of the customers that were there, were mostly couples.. So the lights were dimer. Since we were the threesome, so we got the brighter light section... (could have made Jen sit at the next table.. hehehe)

As usual our dinner was filled with topics, jokes, laughters... Never ending stories...

Headed off around 10.45pm.. As I was sitting in the bus, almost puked. Think it was due to a rather heavy dinner plus taking the bus immediately... When I reached the bus stop, I was already feeding the grass with all my inner fertiliser! haha.... Nutritrious leh...

Ooh.. It's 12.31am now! Yipee!

Happy Valentine's Day to all Lovers, Friends and Family out there!

Cloudy Sunday

Here I am sitting in front of my computer feeling frustrated and irritated! ARGH!!!! Upstairs neighbour has been knocking and banging away.. Making me have a headache! So I went to blast out JJ's songs! In a way it helps me to calm down... Or it could be listening to something I like...

So what is your way of calming down when you are frustrated?

JJ will be having his new album released this Thursday, 17 Feb. So looking forward to it. From the preview, seems like a whole new JJ.

Looks like it's going to rain outside... Quite cloudy. I was suppose to go out but got lazy. So lazing at home instead. Later going for cny dinner again. Going to "Lau Yu Sheng"... Also part of it is to celebrate my brother's birthday... Not sure what to buy for my brother. So will be sharing with my nieces. Hope they aren't getting anything too expensive!

*pause.. answering phone call*

Ooh.. My niece called.. They are buying a swatch watch.. $169... So we all share...

My Adorable Aunt!

I was chatting online with my Aunt. Talking about my dad, about the shop, etc.. And one of the sentence she said

Min: Has anyone told you your family is very lucky to have you?
lisa: Huh?
Min: You realise you're the one holding your family together?
lisa: YES! i realised that long time ago! just that I doubt anyone else in the family realises except for YOU!
lisa: maybe even PT doesn't know that
Min: Just know you're doing a good job
lisa: So happy to hear you say that...
Min: I think PT knows it. He just gets critical sometimes 'coz he thinks sometimes you can do more
lisa: So touched until want to tear liao

The moral of the story is my aunt knows I've done my part and that she understands! And I'm happy that someone finally knows!

Guinea Ship

How the title came about??

I was messaging Peijun just now and we were talking about food as usual. Our favourite pass time! She suggested we do steam boat at my house the next time we have a makan gathering. But I don't have the portable stove.. Plus I also enjoy trying out new receipes and cooking for my friends...

Peijun replied "Oh.... No.. We're on Lisa's guinea ship.... Help!"....

Heehee...

Who Knows

Who knows…

What I am facing right now,
What I am feeling at the moment,
Everything looks so fine,
Everything seems so normal,
No sign of unhappiness,
Not a single trace of sorrows.

They saw joy, laughter and wide smile in me,
No frown or sigh from me,
Not a single second of unhappiness being expressed,
No one knows,
Deep inside I am suffering by myself - alone.

Who knows…
Cannot figure out what this cheerful lad is going through,What is in her mind?

Who knows…
Inside me,
Sadness,
frustration and anger seemed to be mixing well together,
It hurts so deeply, so painful to see such things keep on and on,
From one question to the other I asked myself.
Why I am the chosen one to be here?
What can I do to set free?
There is nothing that can be done,
No changes can be made.

Maybe, keeping everything inside is the best option,
Suffering in silence seem to be the only choice given,
Just ignore and pretend nothing happened,
I can’t give up yet and life goes on.

Who knows…
I will not leave everything unsaid,
That is why I jot everything here,
For all to know;
For all to acknowledge,
Hopefully for all to understand.

New Year Resolution... Almost forgot!

It's already 8th February today. I just realised I didn't make any new year resolution yet. Haven't really thought of it of what I really want. But there are somethings I wanna do.

(1) To WORK harder. Since I've probably screwed up all other aspects of my life, to fail in this area would be FATAL. Just the thought of it sends a biting chill down my spine...

(2) To treat my dad better. There were times I felt myself drifting apart from my dad. Sometimes I could be having dinner with him, but we seem to be talking in subtly different dialects. I hate myself for being a constant liability to him, and even though he never mention this to me, I know I've disappointed him in many many ways. Anyway, I resolve to spend more quality time with him even if it's in the shop, and treat him better.

(3) To find a boyfriend.. YES! I admit it! Friends who sees this blog will also agree with me.

(4) To treat my friends better.. Not that I've been nasty to them. Just to learn to appreciate their good points & bad points. All of them are really nice.. But sometimes we tend to take advantage of each other. I mean we've known each other for very long years, so sometimes we forget our actions.

(5) To save money for rainy days. I'm taking out my $1 coins at the end of the day to save. It's not alot, but at least a start.

There's always a first time we have to take in life....

For now, I can only think of these 5 resolutions...

Remember, treasure your loved ones and friends.

We live only ONCE!

New Specs

Just came back from the spectacles shop. My left eye degree went so much higher.. Apparently, my right eye didn't increase leh. Found a dark red frame.. Not a branded frame. Just cheap one. $30 only! Cheap hor! haha

Was so sian of my blue frame so decided to choose a new colour since it's the new year. Who knows my new pair of spectacles can attract people. hehe

Went to the supermarket after that. Decided to cook something, not sure what.. I took a piece of chicken chop, otak fish cake, prawns... Was in one of those mood to cook again. Must try out new receipes so I can invite my frens over for makan again.

Actually I like doing that, having frens over to eat & have fun. Though I dislike the cleaning. But I've got good QC which is Janet. Cleaning Supervisor is Bobo. Co-ordinator is Jen. One more person, the only one who doesn't do much housework, Peijun! HAHAHA. But she helps to eat...

Oh no! Beta not let PJ see this blog...

Me... Me... Me...

Gorgeous?
I dun think I fall into this category.

Cute – Ugly but Adorable?
That suits me best I think. Born huge and so fair.

Slim or Sexy?
I never dreamt to be a model look-alike. I did manage to lose abit of weight years ago, but I gained all back within the last few years. That makes me currently not slim but obese I admit. I am no sex-bomb. Still, I feel sexy at some point of time.

Gentle and Soft-Spoken?
I dun think I am lady-like. I laugh loud. A fren used to say my laughter is contaigeous. I express my emotion with words, facial and body expressions. I show my anger with actions. Sometimes it is appropriate. Sometimes it can be ‘out of line’.

Open-minded, Daring and Outspoken?
Open-minded, just average. I can talk non-stop about anything under the sun if I want to. Daring, not really. Maybe I will be daring if I had some wine or tequila shot. As mentioned above, I say out my thoughts, feelings and intentions.

Chatter-box or gossiper?
For sure I am abit of those 2. Which person in the world isn't!. I would mind my own business if I sense danger or that it isn't appropriate to talk. I don’t fancy making rumours or gossiping

Just Me
Overall I am just normal human being. Lots of flaws and never can avoid making mistakes. Can be so quiet at one time and ‘over-spirit’ at another. Unpredictable mood swings, passionate, faithful, loyal – my character, Non ambitious, some sort determined, loving, and caring are my attitudes. When you are nice to me once, I'm nice to you for life! That is all I can say about a person called ‘Me’

For those who knows me, if you disagree or agree with what I say, feel free to leave a comment.

Can't Hurry Luv....

LOVE....

It makes a person laugh out loud in JOY,
It makes another person cry in confusion and despair,
Once my friend said "Can't hurry love, you have to be patient" But wait for how long???

I always wished to be in LOVE like others, like in fairytale, where the prince charming comes on a white horse and swept me off my feet. So sweet like chocolates.. <---- yes, I'm still dreaming..

But, one by one my man left me. Some with weird reasons, only to them it's always right. Some just with lots of excuses, Some just DISAPPEARS without a word.. B'coz of LOVE... I cried and cried for days. It breaks my heart each time. I was disappointed and lost all confidence! Lost all hopes & dreams to carry on.

Slowly my belief in happily in love faded.. I no longer can stand that 'nightmares' kept repeating. Over and over again my questions are repeated in my mind.. Lots of puzzles floating around. Not being able to match up. It was really a torture. Everyday is a blank except for going to work. Lost! Consoled myself that I will ONLY LOVE myself from now on and no one else! Not wanting to get hurt again!

Surprised and shocked...One day LOVE drops by unexpectedly. Tried to avoid before it hurts me once again. There's a saying "You can run but you can't hide"

I still think there will always be LOVE for you and everyone else out there, just wait and don't stop believing!

Life is full of hopes & dreams!

Anger as a Motivator

I learned how to use anger as a motivator.The problem with that strategy is that it can keep you stuck in anger. And when I'm angry, I tend to make comments that I should otherwise not make. Frustration tends to feed that anger.

Right now, I'm very, very frustrated--with so many things in my life. There was a time when I needed to be in a place that moved slow. Now, I'd like things to move faster--and they move as slow as they always did. It's not the fault of the place--it's that I've come back to life. Lacking knowledge feeds the anger. There are so many things I want to do--so many things I can contribute, but I don't know how to get the word out, don't know how to make the first step.

There are so many things I don't know and can't find the information on. Boredom feeds the frustration, too. I'm bored most of the time. There are no challenges here. I have to make challenges for myself, and that isn't always a good thing. I don't want to be here any more, but I can't figure out how to move things forward to get out of here.

Maybe I'm impatient. Maybe I don't quite understand how The World works, and I need to slow down because The World doesn't move as fast as I'd like it to. It's hard though, and hurtful. I panicked the other day because I thought I lost some personal documents--and when I woke up from that panic, I realized that I had forgotten where I'd put them. When I put them where they are, I was in the depths of a broken heart, and I didn't want to really look at some of my posessions. For me, a very broken heart means that even the smallest, most insignificant posession can bring back a flood of memories and upset me.

The broken heart hurt more than being excoriated for a bad argument--and, not knowing a good strategy for dealing with it, I just stayed in one spot, in one place, that would not give me the stimulus I needed, but would at least be a crucible I could curl up in and try to get better. A broken heart feels an awful lot like a long-term illness. Some lethargy, mind-confusion, some loss of vitality.

Life with a broken heart is an exercise of going thru the motions and not much more.So, maybe that's why I'm so angry a lot of the time, too--and where all the frustration comes from. I suffered a broken heart that felt like the pain all over again.

How do I slow down, amd not panic so much about all that pain-and-heartbreak induced lost time? How do I stop being frustrated and angry and sometimes lashing out when I should just chill?

Men.... WHAT A WASTE!!

Well...I kind feel that I should start this becoz its a good way to vent. so hard luck ppl...when ppl piss me off u're all goin 2 hear or rather read about it...lol!

I've learnt today that men are a complete waste of time. Though I knew it before but I kept convincing myself that there must be some good ones becoz life isn't meant to suck this much.

I can now officially say that LOVE is a bitch! Our hearts and minds never agree on the same thing and this is really not fair. So girls we think that when you meet ppl and become friends and then you like them and then you fall in love with them things will be okay. guess wat...YOU ARE SO DAMN WRONG!

Fellas are a waste of time and the only time they are happy is when they are getting some pussy. So if datz not you...well tough luck! love...like...infatuation...lust....whatever you call it...forget it coz we are better off alone.

We are independent young ladies and we goin 2 be able to survive without them...and they hate that. But guess what...who cares. becoz I'm really fed up of all the immature assholes out there who refuse to think with their brain and rather with their prick. So if you know that you're not goin to commit and you just want a hole to put your prick in...continue walking. becoz it ain't happening here.

All of ya'll who have great frenz that you think treat u really nice and are really cool...datz how they are as frenz...but as boyfriends they suck!. So those of you who have been lucky enough to find that person (PJ did)
I'm happy for you. To the rest of ya'll... doh worry...maybe someday we'll be that lucky.

But as for now ladies...do what you have to do to make yourself happy. spend time with the people that are important to you and live life to its fullest.

58 Reason Why Men Sucks!

1. They can't settle down. Its like they have to spread their seed to everyone.
2. All men are such hypocrites. If you're their friend they'll tell you that you need to find a real man and stop
falling for such assholes. But when you fall for them they'll break your heart just like the rest.
3. Just because it "feels right" means its ok. They completely forget about your feelings too.
4. They deny what they said even when they know it was true at that time.
5. The word love isn’t in their vocabulary, only lust, sex, one night stands
6. "Nothing" is good to wear.
7. Their ego.
8. They get jealous easily.
9. "Good times" are when you’re in a dark room together.
10. They make you want them over and over again, and each time they hurt you like before.
11. "I love you" means "I want sex".
12. They bullshit constantly.
13. The geniuses tell your best friend secrets and expect them not to tell you.
14. When they’re with their girlfriend they look at other girls.
15. Scratch "their stuff" every 15 minutes.
16. They always call girls bitches.
17. Always want a threesome with you and your friends.
18. They want their BJ but they won't lick us back... : gag gag:: (got it??)
19. The good ones are gay. (This is so definitely TRUE)!
20. Toilet seat. Terrible aim. Got the picture?
21. They never grow up. Reality tells me this daily.
22. They don't know how to say sorry.
23. "Um... hi, my eyes are up here, stop staring at my chest."
24. They just can't be satisfied with one female.
25. They don't take no for an answer.
26. They think that they’re just the best.
27. Guys think they're the greatest creatures that ever walked the earth.
28. Many have no fashion sense.
29. You make them feel good about themselves, it goes to their head.
30. Take advantage when you’re most vulernable.
31. Think they could get anyone they wanted.
32. Have a problem with homosexuals. They’re all homophobic. Gay's are people too.
33. Once they find out that you're crushing on them, they act like complete assholes.
Wait. What am i saying? They're always complete assholes!!
34. Talk about their masturbation skills in public.
35. Tell every friend how far they've gotten with you.
36. RAPE
37. MOLESTATION..... And they get away with it.
38. If you get pregnant, it's not their fault.
39. Treat females like shit.
40. If they just break up with a girl, 5 minutes later they're already jumping on another one.
41. They say they'll call, but never do.
42. Don't talk on the phone, and if they do, they only want phone sex.
43. Would hump anything with two legs. <=== Need i say more?
44. Want you to pleasure them but won't repay the favour.
45. They'll give you their ex girlfriend's jewellery and say they bought it for you.
46. Most guys eat whatever they want and don't gain a pound (BB is just like that)!
47. Guys only care about a girl if they're getting some.
48. When they make you cry they think its funny.
49. Ladies, ever heard this one "I'm in love with my car, not her."
50. They feel "trapped", "suffocated" as what they always claimed!
51. They bring us down!!! Damn the man!
52. Because GOD supposedley created them first, they automatically rule everything.
53. Menopause, menstruation etc.
54. They're not supportive, not attentive, not caring, not observant.
55. They think their all good, but can't really satisfy
56. Guys take pride in their shit, literally.
57. They act all lovey dovey when they want something.
58. Always try to prove themselves better than you in everyway!

STUPID - True or False?

Why are men stupid? Or a better question why do they think we are, ladies? All of us have probably experienced some form of stupidity thrust upon us in some form or fashion. I used to give them the benefit of the doubt because of experience, age, maturity or whatever you call it.... But what I have come to find out is that no matter what age, nationality, job, living situation, the stupidity is across the board.

How many of us have actually had them lie to us about something and because we found out had it thrown back at us..."Well at least I told you about it" NO YOU DIDN'T!!!! If I hadn't asked then you would have never said anything. Women's intuition can be something.... It's just like spiderman with his "spidy senses".

When things aren't right we know...But the problem is we usually don't follow what the spidy sense is telling us. If your man's phone is ringing in the middle of the night and he tells you its his boy but he doesn't answer it...Your spidy sensors should be going off. Like a radar!

If he doesn't invite you over to his house or tells you he has roommates and is not available a lot....***red flash***. Ladies we have to get better at weeding out of the men can pile it on heavy. What happens is you feel hurt and betrayed.

Like how could he have done this, but in actuality you knew it all along. Stop the crap in its tracks and start having a zero tolerance policy. It will save you some heartache in the long run.

Is this Reality??

Death, departure, walk away, walk out. Should I or should I not pout? Family and friends, Lovers and one-night stands...

I have loved, lost and lived. How do I trust, how do I love again?

I should move on, it's all in my past. But my pain remains, continues and lasts. This pain lingers in my heart, mind and soul. Damn it - why is this world so cold?

How can I have faith in God and family, when people I love are taken from me. Where can I find true? I'm sick of the lies, insincerities...

How do I love again with all of my rage? How do I get past all of this? Show me a sign GOD, so I can leave my sadness, pain and crying behind.

Friend is.......

someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift.
someone we treasure for our friendship is a gift.
someone who fills our lives with beauty, joy, and grace.
and makes the whole world we live in ,a better and happier place.
This is for all my best friend.....
I luv u guys....

Life... Past... Present

Drowning in sorrow, dying inside, showing the pain i can no longer hide. Running away, slamming in walls, covering my ears as my conscience calls. My shadow lurks without my motion, a silhouette without a notion. I wait at the door but I hear no knocks. As I'm trapped in this little bitty box, locked away without a key, a stranger in the mirror is all I see.

When will I ever feel whole again, when will this pain ever end, When will the day come and I hold my key, and the way to the light is clear to see, dreaming of sunshine, only to awake in darkness. It's a reality I face each day I arise, as each day grows grimmer and part of me dies. Everything comes and goes . Things are destroyed that you saved from the past, but you have to realize that nothing lasts your life is a mark that can't be erased . Your problems get worse and need to be faced. You think things are over as you lay in bed. Your whole life flashes through your head. Where did this madness ever start? why won't this pain go away in my heart? you ask and ask ,when will it be gone ? will this hurting inside one?

Day pass on, no one knows the answers except one. So live life to the fullest and try to have fun then you find a love that eventually falls apart, then comes that aching again deep in your heart and again there's that meaning which nobody knows like the past and present, Life comes and goes.

Luv... In my Life... Emptiness

If only the world could see what I feel. Then, would the world, know who I am, I've loved, lost and feared the world. For it is sometimes to much to bare. Control, power, is what I feared for I am weak inside and full of pain and hurt. I shout and cry, but knowing there is nobdoy there to hear me. I swallow the disappointment and anger that lies beneath me. I am lost to reality and living on time. Though I am struggling through life and that it offers, I am only human and that is what makes me... ME. Still, I wish for the happiness and pleasure that I have earned, but realize that, I have not yet overcome the world's greatest challenge... LOVE!!! and how to accept it. Am I ready to face my fears?